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Honestly making friends in adulthood is hard, however, it is doable. Between busy schedules, taking care of family, and taking care of personal interests, it can be hard to maintain friends let alone make new friends. As a result, we start to lack social confidence and stand-offish from others even when we don’t intentionally do it. I’m here to tell you there is hope to be more socially confident and meet new people as an adult. Let’s explore 14 techniques we can use.
1. Accept Yourself, Flaws and All
Becoming socially confident starts with self-acceptance. When you accept yourself flaws and all you become your authentic self which draws others to you.
If you’re quirky, quiet, or a little awkward be yourself. Moreover, you can’t be self-assured around others when you’re constantly criticizing yourself.
How to Apply:
Remind yourself of three things each day that you admire about yourself. It can be the simplest thing like cooking the tastiest pancakes, doing this exercise each day helps you to rewire your brain into accepting yourself which eventually make you be more socially confident.
2. Practice Being Present in Conversations
You don’t have to be the most talkative to be socially confident all you need to be is attentive during conversations.
You can be present in conversations by actively listening to what the person is saying.
The next time you talk to someone practice being present, genuinely listening, and responding with curiosity this lets the other person know that you’re listening and are invested in the conversation.
How to Apply:
When conversing with someone, don’t think about how you would respond or say next instead pay attention to what the person is saying. Also, you can ask open-ended questions such as ‘How did that make you feel?’ or ‘What motivated you to do that?’
3. Start Small and Go Where the People Are
Making new friends as an adult is challenging. However, putting yourself out there will set you up to meet new people.
Start small. Go to places where you’re comfortable with socializing.
However, every interaction you have might not lead to a friendship. The key is to keep putting yourself out there and the more you’ll be socially confident.
How to Apply:
You can join social classes, book clubs, or do something as small as striking up a conversation with your neighbor or a colleague. You don’t have to go to big events.
4. Learn the Power of Body Language
To build social Confidence you need to work on your body posture. Your body language says a lot about you even before you do. When you stand with your hands crossed and slouched people will think you’re stand-offish.
However, if you stand tall, make eye contact, smile, and maintain a good posture this can make you look more inviting to talk to and also will increase your confidence.
How to Apply:
Stand in your mirror practicing good posture and power poses, this might seem odd at first but it will help you build social confidence.
5. Constantly Exercise Your Social Muscles
Social skills are like a muscle the more you work them the stronger they’ll get.
To do this you must start conversations with others. You might have awkward moments sometimes or come off as weird to others. However, don’t take it personally, it’s normal for everyone to have those moments, and continue trying.
How to Apply:
Practice being in social situations. You can start a quick convo with the doorman at your apartment building or compliment someone at your local gym.
6. Make The First Move
Making friends in adulthood sometimes require you to make the first move.
The truth is someone you’ve met might want to hang out with you just as much as you want to but is too afraid to ask because they think that you might reject their offer.
Be willing to be the first person to say hi or send a text. Being socially confident is acting even though you’re nervous.
How to Apply:
Make the first move by asking someone you’ve met out for lunch or a coffee. For instance, you attend an event, meet someone, have a great conversation with them, and maybe like their personality. You can send them a DM telling or a text if they gave you their number telling them that you enjoyed meeting them and if they would like to grab a coffee sometime.
7. Let Go of the Fear of Rejection
Not every encounter will lead to a friendship. In fact, some people might find you weird and brush you off.
It’s okay, don’t take it personally because rejection is part of the process.
Think of rejection as redirection to finding the right people that are meant for you. Also, think of it as they’re missing out on knowing and having an awesome person in their life.
Don’t let rejection discourage you, keep going.
8. Celebrate Your Wins, No Matter How Small
Making eye contact, smiling, or introducing yourself are all small wins that’ll help you be more socially confident.
Success builds confidence.
How to Apply:
Write down one thing each day to accomplish that’ll bring you out of your comfort zone and build your social confidence. It can be something as small as smiling at a stranger or making small talk with a grocery store cashier.
9. Invest in Yourself
Investing in your personal growth helps build social confidence.
How to Apply:
Join spaces you’re interested in such as pottery, yoga, or piano classes. This allows you to easily connect with people who share the same interests as you. As humans, we look to connect with others based on relatability.
10. Be Patient and Kind to Yourself
Being socially confident and making new friends as an adult isn’t an overnight process, it takes time and failures.
Therefore, be patient, and intentional, and give yourself grace.
The goal is to become your true self first.
11. Making Friends in Adulthood Doesn’t Come With An Expiration Date
You might have intrusive thoughts telling you, ‘Making new friends as an adult is childish’ or ‘you’re too old to make new friends.’ These are all misconceptions.
Making friends doesn’t come with an age limit.
How to Apply:
Combat your self-limiting thoughts with affirmations such as ‘I am never too old to create new genuine friendships’.
12. Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable
Although you might be shaking, your palms sweating, and you might come off as awkward get used to it.
Growth doesn’t happen when you are in your comfort zone.
13. Say Yes to Invites
As an adult, becoming a homebody is a default. After work, we want to be at home cuddling up in our blanket, binge-watching an excessive amount of our favorite series.
However, this diminishes your social confidence and is definitely not having a social life.
How to Apply:
The next time you’re invited to an event, pilates classes, or a girl’s night out, say yes. Chances are these people want to hang out with you more.
14. Stop Overthinking Every Social Interaction
If you struggle with overthinking every interaction you have like I do replaying every social interaction is a norm for us.
Thought can clutter our minds like, ‘Did I say too much?’ ‘Did I offend her by making that joke?’ All of these are social confidence-ruining thoughts.
The truth is that person isn’t thinking about that interaction as nearly as you are or they probably are overthinking as well.
How to Apply:
Quickly stop yourself when your intrusive thoughts start to kick in. Develop a mindset that every interaction doesn’t have to be perfect as long as you mean well. Give yourself credit for trying.
Wrapping Things Up
Although making friends in adulthood might be challenging, it is achievable. By building your social confidence and putting yourself out there you’ll eventually meet new people. So, try a few of these techniques to create lifelong friendships.
