How to Reinvent Yourself After a Breakup: 12 Steps to Getting Over Heartbreak

In Japan, there’s an art called Kintsugi. It involves mending broken pottery with gold. Like this broken pottery, a breakup can leave us feeling shattered, but just like the pottery, we can fill our cracks with gold to create something beautiful. We do this by reinventing ourselves. In this article, we’ll cover 12 steps on how to reinvent yourself after a breakup.

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

First, to reinvent yourself after a breakup you need to allow yourself to grieve. Bubbling up your emotions won’t make it go away, in fact, it’ll only make it worse.

So, allow yourself to cry, journal, vent to a close friend, or even scream into a pillow. Giving yourself permission to grieve allows you to process your feelings better and makes you human.

Here’s What to Do:

• Try taking 15 to 30 minutes each day to journal how you feel or talk to someone who’s supportive, it’ll allow you to get those emotions out.

2. Reflect and Learn from the Past

The next step on how to build yourself back up after a breakup is to reflect and learn from the past. Getting over heartbreak isn’t easy. However, you can take this time to reflect and better yourself.

Here’s What to Do:

• Make a list of things you’ve learned about yourself and what you want out of your future relationships. This approach can help you to move forward with clarity and purpose.
• Ask yourself: “What have I learned from this relationship?” “What habits or patterns I need to change moving forward?”

3. Make Self-care a Priority Like Never Before

Healing after heartbreak can be daunting. Therefore, you should anchor yourself into self-care. Focus on yourself and take care of your body, mind, and soul, and rekindle the joy you once had while you was single.

Here’s What to Do:

• Take this opportunity to do things you love or try things you’ve always wanted to do such as Yoga, hiking, or attending a dance class.
• Try meditating or speaking affirmations over yourself to connect with your inner being and feel empowered.
• You can create a self-care “menu” where you can choose an activity to do every day or every other day. You can put activities on your menu such as bubble bath, spa day, reading, journaling, or self-date night.

4. Set Healthy Boundaries

Girl, I know it’s hard but you have to stop keeping contact with your ex and stalking his social media page. Healing after heartbreak requires removing yourself from the environment you’ve been hurt. Staying in that environment will hinder you from healing in the long run. Hence, set boundaries. Setting boundaries is not selfish but is an act of self-respect.

Here’s What to Do:

• Mute or unfollow your ex on social media.
• If you have to, delete their phone number.
• Politely decline invitations to occasions that you know they will be at if you’re not ready to face them.

5. Reconnect with Yourself

Sometimes, us women tend to lose track of who we are whilst in a relationship. We forget about what we like, our hobbies, and our interests. As a result, we lose ourselves in the process.

Therefore, healing after heartbreak is a great time for us to reconnect with our hobbies, interests, passions, or who we were before.

Also, it is an opportunity for us to connect with the other version of ourselves that spark new interest and passion within us.

Here’s What to Do:

• To do this, you can try things you’ve always wanted such as pottery, kickboxing, taking a cooking class, etc. Consider dedicating an afternoon each week for doing something that interests you.

6. Surround Yourself with Positivity

Who says you have to go through a breakup alone? Surround yourself with people who envelope you with love and support, who you can vent to, and who remind you that you are worthy.

Here’s What to Do:

• Plan a girls’ night out, or a coffee or lunch date with one of your close friends.
• You can join a community that sets to uplift each other.

7. Set New Goals to Look Forward To

The seventh step on how to build yourself back up after a breakup is to set new goals to look forward to. Breakups can bring fresh and new beginnings. Therefore, you get to set new goals that can inspire you. Now is the time to pursue those dreams you have been putting on hold.

Here’s What to Do:

• Write down one short-term goal, such as reading a book series each month, and one long-term goal such as saving up for a solo trip to Italy for the summer. To make your goals more achievable, break them down into smaller, actionable steps.

8. Reinvent Your Appearance

Sometimes a fresh start starts with a fresh appearance. Changing your wardrobe, hair, or makeup routine can boost your confidence and physically reinvent the person you are becoming. However, keep in mind that this is for your satisfaction, not for someone else’s.

Here’s What to Do:

• Consider trying new hairstyles and colors.
• Declutter your wardrobe and treat yourself to one or two new clothing pieces that make you feel confident.

9. Practice Gratitude and Forgiveness

Another step on how to reinvent yourself after a breakup is to practice gratitude and forgiveness. Holding onto bitterness and resentment only weigh you down and cause you to bleed other people. Being willing to forgive isn’t for that person’s sake but for your sake.

However, forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone what has happened, it means you refuse to let what happened to be the thief of your joy.

Also, being grateful helps you to move your focus from what was lost to what you still have.

Here’s What to Do:

• Write down three things you’re grateful for each day.
• Write a letter to your ex (not to send it to them) expressing your emotions.

10. Build a New Daily Routine

Making a new daily routine gives your day a new meaning. Therefore, create a routine that supports your mental and physical well-being.

Here’s What to Do:

• Create a morning ritual that includes self-care such as journaling, stretching, or going for a walk.
• Incorporate a weekly fun activity into your routine such as attending a pilates class or trying a new recipe.

11. Get Professional Guidance if Needed

Another step on how to change your life after a breakup is to get professional guidance if needed. There’s no shame in seeking professional support if needed. Sometimes speaking with a therapist or counselor can give you enlightenment on your situation and open your mind to things you couldn’t by yourself.

Here’s What to Do:

• You can look up local therapists in your area or try an online therapist that suites your needs.

12. Embrace New Beginnings

The final step on how to reinvent yourself after a breakup is to embrace a new beginning. By stepping onto a new path, you can be exposed to new and exciting opportunities and experiences.

Here’s What to Do:

• Make a vision board that represents your future dreams.
• Plan solo dates such as to a museum, fancy dinner, or picnic at the park.

To Wrap Things Up

Healing after heartbreak isn’t an easy journey. However, it will be worth it in the long run. These 12 steps on how to build yourself back up after a breakup, can help you to heal and recover after a heartbreak. Moreover, think of a break up as a chance to start a new beginning and walk into one of the most powerful chapters in your life.

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