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Why do we show up for others and never show up for ourselves? Why do we show a friend compassion when they’ve messed up but beat ourselves down when we’ve made a mistake? Why do we show others love more than we show ourselves love? These questions might be simple but they reveal a lot about how we value ourselves. Just like any other skill, self-love is a skill we must learn by practicing it. That’s why, in this article, we’ll discuss understanding self-love, why it’s essential, and 10 ways to practice self-love.
What is Self-Love?
Self-love is showing appreciation to yourself, knowing your self-worth, and treating yourself with kindness and respect. It isn’t selfish or narcissistic but is simply having a relationship with yourself. Moreover, Self-love is the foundation of everything you do in your relationships to your goals.
Why is Self-love Important?
- Determine the Way People Treat You: People treat you based on how you treat and carry yourself. Therefore, if you treat yourself with self-love and self-worth people will tend to treat you the same way.
- You Become Resilient: When faced with difficulty you are more likely to approach it with grace and bounce back instead of beating yourself up.
- Improve Your Relationships: You can’t love others unless you’ve fallen in love with yourself first. Furthermore, self-love is the foundation of healthy relationships. Also, it allows you to set healthy boundaries, communicate effectively, and maintain a wholesome dynamic with others.
- Improve Your Mental Health: Practicing self-love prevent you from self-criticism, and reduce stress and burnout.
- You Pursue Your Goals with Confidence: When you fall in love with yourself you are more likely to show up for yourself. Also, you will believe you can achieve your goals, align your actions with your goals, and stay motivated.
10 Ways to Practice Self-love
1. Make a Self-love Vision Board
A great place to start when practicing self-love is by creating a vision board. Make a vision board that motivates and empowers you. However, don’t make a vision board solely to look at but as motivation to take action.
You can make a vision board by searching Pinterest for images and quotes that resonate with your self-love and that align with your goals.
Also, place your vision board somewhere visible such as on your wall or set as your phone wallpaper to stay reminded of your self-worth daily.
2. Write a List of Things You Love About Yourself
Writing down unique qualities and strengths about yourself can help to boost your confidence, especially when you need it the most. It can be things such as your ability to do something, your interest, how you handled a certain situation, etc. For instance, you can write, “I love my smile.” or “I love that I stay positive during negative situations.”
To make it challenging, throughout the year make a list of 100 things you love about yourself. Every time you’ve discovered something that you admire about yourself, add it to your list. Keep this list close to you to continue adding and for days you need motivation.
3. Be Mindful of Your Inner Dialogue
One of the ways to practice self-love is by being careful how you speak to yourself. If your inner dialogue is filled with negativity more than likely you’ll struggle with self-love. Instead of criticizing yourself, change your inner thoughts to positive affirmations. Practice showing yourself compassion, and forgiveness, and encouraging yourself.
4. Pay Attention to Your Emotions
If you’re a person who undervalues your emotions or sweeps them under the rug, this can negatively affect your self-love. Therefore, self-love is connecting to your emotions and allowing yourself to feel them. You can be mindful of your feelings by journaling or talking to someone about them. Ask yourself: “How am I feeling?” “What is the cause of me feeling this way?” “What can I do to change this emotion (if it is negative)?” or “What can I do to feel like this more often (if positive)?”
5. Make a Playlist Dedicated to You
Another way how to practice self-love is by curating a playlist that empowers and motivates you, but also uplifts you when you don’t feel your best. Add songs that make you feel good about yourself.
6. Do More of the Things You Love
Practicing self-love also has to do with doing more of the things that make you happy, bring you peace, or are fulfilling to you. Whether taking a walk, playing the piano, hiking, or volunteering at a children’s hospital, doing what you love is certainly a way to fall in love with yourself.
7. Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries shows that you respect yourself and deserve the same respect from others. Learn to say no to things that don’t align with your values and drain you of your energy. Also, learn what you’re ok with and what you’re not ok with to set healthy boundaries.
8. Be Mindful of the Company You Keep
One of the ways to practice self-love is being cautious of the people you surround yourself with. Do the people you surround yourself with bring you down or uplift you? Do they motivate you or drain you of your energy? Your circle reflects the love and respect you have for yourself. So, if you are in a toxic relationship or with people who tear you down, let them go.
9. Show Up for Yourself
Why do we show up and keep our words to others but don’t do it for ourselves? Keeping your promises and doing what you said you were going to is an act of self-love. In fact, it boosts your self-trust and confidence. So, the next time you say you are going to stick to your morning routine, go to the gym, or work towards a long-term goal, show up for yourself.
10. Live Every Day with Intention
The final way to fall in love with yourself is by living every day with purpose and meaning. Therefore, approach each day with intention by doing things that add value and purpose to your life. Whether it’s journaling, meditating, or practicing gratitude you can fill your day with purpose. Moreover, adding intention into your day also means not spending time doing useless things, or things that drain you of your energy.
Wrapping Things Up
The beginning of self-love is realizing that you’re worthy of it. As you reflect on the love that you have for yourself, ask yourself: “Have I been kind to myself lately?” “Have I shown myself compassion when I’ve made a mistake?” “What would my life look like if I prioritized my well-being?” The answers to these questions and trying one or more of these ways to practice self-love are the starting point to your self-love journey.
FAQs on Self-Love
1. How to fix lack of self-love?
Fixing the lack of self-love first start with self-awareness. Consider reflecting on negative thoughts or beliefs you’ve told yourself and challenge them with positive ones. In addition, speak positive affirmations over yourself, practice self-compassion, and surround yourself with people who remind you of your worth.
2. What are the pillars of self-love?
There are four pillars of self-love:
- Self-acceptance
- Self-compassion
- Self-esteem
- Personal integrity
3. Can self-love be taught?
Yes, self-love can be taught. Through support, practicing self-love, and educating yourself on self-love and self-compassion anyone can learn how to love themselves.
4. What does lack of self-love look like?
Lack of self-love can manifest itself in someone’s life as:
- Seeking validation from others
- Not setting boundaries
- Comparing self to others
- Continuous self-criticism
- Feeling unworthy or not good enough( a.k.a Impostor Syndrome)
- Neglecting self-care
- Entertaining a toxic relationship
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