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We often love others in their love language but never love ourselves in our own. However, to build confidence, know our self-worth, have a relationship with ourselves and self-esteem, we must first learn how to love ourselves properly. In this article, we’ll be discussing the definition of love language , the five love languages, how to figure out what your love language is, and ways you can love yourself in your love language.
What is Love Language?
Love language is the way you express love for others and receive love from others. First coined in his book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Last, published in 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman explained 5 ways to express love so that married couples can identify their love language and the love language of their partner. However, you can use these expressions of love towards yourself and with your family and friends. According to Chapman knowing your love language can improve your relationship with yourself and boost your self-love.
What are the Five Love Languages?
- Words of Affirmation: expressing love by using words. It can be words of encouragement, compliments, uplifting, and appreciative words. For example: ‘I’m proud of you’ ‘You’re gorgeous’ ‘I appreciate you’.
- Quality Time: feeling loved by spending quality time with someone. Often bond by spending undisturbed time with someone. For example: doing something with someone that you have a shared interest in.
- Physical Touch: being affectionate through physical interactions such as hugs, holding hands, cuddling, etc.
- Acts of Service: showing love by doing selfless acts that will make someone’s life easier. For instance: running errands for a loved one.
- Receiving Gifts: an expression of love through giving meaningful gifts. For example: deeply appreciating a thoughtful gift you’ve received for your birthday.
How to Love Yourself in Your Love Language
1. Words of Affirmation
If people’s words deeply affect you, there’s a chance your primary expression of love is Words of Affirmation. Another indication is when people compliment you or give you encouraging words you sincerely appreciate them or when people’s harsh words deeply affect you. In addition, you love receiving texts and letters from your loved ones that express their love and affection for you.
Things you can do to love yourself in the Words of Affirmation love language:
- Speak positive affirmations over yourself daily.
- Keep a journal dedicated to highlighting your accomplishments and strengths.
- Write love letters to yourself and revisit them.
- Make a list of things you love about yourself and revisit them often.
- Listen to podcasts or watch videos that uplift, empower, motivate, and encourage you.
2. Quality Time
A sign that Quality Time can be your main love language is when you feel the most affection from someone by spending undivided quality time with them. Also, you feel rejuvenated and empowered over having deep intimate conversations with someone and sharing similar experiences with them.
Things you can do to love yourself in the Quality Time love language:
- Go on solo dates.
- Spend time alone doing things you love such as hobbies.
- Take time off from social media to focus on connecting with yourself.
3. Receiving Gifts
If you feel the most appreciative when someone gives you a meaningful gift, Gift Receiving is your primary way to show love to yourself. In addition, you love surprises and the price of a gift doesn’t matter to you but the meaning behind it does. Moreover, gifts hold a special memory in your heart.
Things you can do to love yourself in the Receiving Gifts love language:
- Treat yourself to meaningful gifts often such as flowers.
- Celebrate your accomplishments by buying yourself something.
- Invest in items that support your well-being, such as a wellness subscription like FabFitFun or cozy bedding.
4. Acts of Service
Acts of Service are your core love language when you feel the most loved by someone doing things for you such as running an errand for you. In addition, it’s important to you when others show up and support you. Furthermore, you tend to do helpful things for others.
Things you can do to love yourself in the Acts of Service love language:
- Declutter and organize your space to make it peaceful and inviting.
- Prepare delicious meals for yourself.
- Create routines that make your life less stressful and a whole lot easier.
- Complete small tasks that bring you a sense of accomplishment.
- Set aside time to take care of your body, mind, and soul.
5. Physical Touch
If you deeply appreciate hugs, cuddling, holding hands, etc., there’s a likelihood Physical Touch is your main love expression. Also, you love touch sensations such as the soothing feeling of taking warm baths and the cozy feeling of soft fabrics. In addition, you find physical touch reassuring.
Things you can do to love yourself in the Physical Touch love language:
- Give yourself a massage or get one professionally.
- Invest in soft PJs and a comfy weighted blanket.
- Hug yourself or use self-soothing techniques like placing your hands on your stomach.
Tips to Finding Your Love Language
If you’re still having trouble finding your love language, these questions might help you:
- How do you often show others love?
- When do you feel the most appreciative?
- What do you complain the most about in a relationship?
Also, here’s a quiz that’ll help you find your love language. Click Here!
Wrapping Things Up
The expression of love is a way of showing affection towards others and getting theirs in return. There are five categories to express love: acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and gift-giving. We’ve discussed in this article, how you can discover your love language and actionable ways to love yourself in your love language. Whether you value gifts, compliments, or spending time with loved ones show up for yourself by loving yourself in your primary love language.
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