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Although sometimes we have to set boundaries with others, we also have to set boundaries for ourselves. To reach your truest potential and connect with what matters most to you, you must establish limitations for yourself. In this article, we’ll be exploring four doable steps on setting boundaries for yourself.
What is Personal Boundaries?
Before we start, let’s begin by defining personal boundaries.
Personal boundaries are physical, emotional, and mental limits we set with ourselves and in our relationships. Furthermore, it’s the standard of how we behave, think, and control our emotions. Personal boundaries are respecting your own needs and limits.
The Importance of Setting Boundaries for Yourself
- To Protect Your Emotional Health: Regulating what you allow yourself to internalize can prevent mental breakdowns, burnouts, stress, and other negative emotions. Therefore, not creating boundaries for yourself on what you internalize will leave you open to emotional exhaustion. Moreover, having no boundaries makes you more inclined to meet others’ expectations which can lead to emotional burnout.
- To Promote Self-respect: Every time you stick to the boundaries you’ve set with yourself, your self-respect becomes stronger. Honoring your boundaries is a form of self-love and shows that you prioritize your well-being. Furthermore, it shows yourself and others that you are worthy.
- To Make Better Decisions: When you create boundaries with yourself, it improves your decision-making. Moreover, you become more disciplined when making decisions because you want to stick to your values and align with your goals and well-being. Therefore, setting boundaries for yourself allows you to make decisions based on what matters most to you.
- To Become Emotionally Resilient: Research shows that people who set boundaries are likelier to have higher self-esteem, lower stress levels, and better emotional regulation. Therefore, having boundaries with yourself can help you to handle negative emotions much better. Also, you are more likely to combat external negativity.
How to Set Boundaries with Yourself?
Step One: Do Some Self-reflection
To set boundaries with yourself you must first become aware of your values, needs, and limitations. You have to assess what matters most to you. Therefore, the first step to setting personal boundaries with yourself is understanding who you are and what you stand for.
What to Do:
In your journal, write down how you feel in certain situations. Also, analyze what activities, people, and situations are draining you and then identify what contributed to you feeling this way.
For instance, you might be a person who struggles with going to bed on time which causes you to stay up late. As a result, you always feel tired and often wake up late. The main contributor to your sleeping issue might be that you don’t set a strict time to go to sleep and stay up late scrolling through Social Media.
Step Two: Establish Clear Boundaries
Now that you’ve identified your limitations, values, and needs, it’s time for you to start creating boundaries for yourself. It’s one thing to write your boundaries on paper but it’s another thing to establish them by taking action. When setting your boundaries you want to make sure they are clear, specific, and honor the standard you’ve set. Therefore, know what matters most to you and align them with your values.
What to Do:
Incorporate your boundaries in areas where they are needed for instance your personal, work, or social life.
Let’s continue with the example in the previous step. To implement sleep regulation boundaries in your personal life, you might create a bedtime and wake-up time frame(10 pm to 7 am).
Also, you might switch on your DND button on your phone so you won’t get any notifications.
In addition, you might set your wifi to cut off during a certain time or place an app on your phone that locks your Social Media apps at a set time.
Step Three: Communicate Your Boundaries with Others
When it’s necessary, communicate your boundaries with others. Be clear and specific when communicating that way there will not be any room for miscommunication.
What to Do:
Have a conversation with the person that you want to express your boundaries to. Be stern but also polite when you express your boundaries.
Continuing with our example, you might have a friend or a family member who often contacts you late at night, you can tell them, “10 pm is my bedtime, therefore, I will not be accepting any calls or answering any messages after this time.”
Step Four: Reevaluate Your Boundaries
Lastly, on how to set boundaries with yourself, you want to reflect on the boundaries you’ve created for yourself. As our minds, lives, personalities, and circumstances change so do our boundaries.
It’s alright to reevaluate and change your boundaries. In fact, it’s helpful to consistently reflect on your boundaries to see if they are still in alignment with your goals, values, needs, and standards.
What to Do:
Ask yourself ” Do my boundaries still align with my needs, values, and, limits?” “How do my new circumstances affect the boundaries I set for myself?”
Examples of Personal Boundaries to Set for Yourself
- Setting a bedtime and wake-up routine to get sufficient sleep.
- Sticking to daily to-do-list and avoid overloading your schedule.
- Avoid doomscrolling on Social Media to avoid wasting time.
- Saying “no” to things that doesn’t align with your values.
- Sticking to a budget and avoiding impulsive spending.
- Setting aside time to work on your long-term goals.
- Avoid engaging in negative conversations and gossiping.
- Avoid overcommitting to social events that drains you.
- Recognize when a relationship is toxic and be willing to walk away.
- Setting aside time to self-reflect and improve.
Wrapping Things Up
To align with your values, you must set personal boundaries for yourselves. You have to self-assess what matters most to you, establish your boundaries by taking action, express them to others who might be affected, and review your boundaries often and make changes if needed.
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