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Let’s face it confidence can sometimes feel like a faulty WiFi signal, one minute it’s strong, the other it drops. Then, having to reconnect. It’s like one day your confidence is going through the roof and in the next your confidence is low. I remember feeling like I could’ve done anything to being afraid to speak into a group of people, fading in the background so no one noticed me, or doubting my abilities to do something(and I still do feel this way from time-to-time). However, overtime I’ve applied 10 simple confidence-boosting exercises that increase the belief in myself and decrease my self-doubt and now I’m sharing them with you.
1. Create a “What Makes Me Feel Confident” List
It’s essential to understand what makes you feel confident, because if you don’t know, how will you ever be confident? By creating a confident list you will reflect on what makes you feel the most confident. As a result, you can apply it to your life more. For example, positive self-talk, listening to a musician’s music, or the way you dress can be all things that make you confident.
Therefore, write a list of things that make you feel confident and place it somewhere visible. When you feel like the less confident version of yourself, pick this list up and choose one thing you can do instantly that’ll make you feel confident.
2. The “I Achieve That” Journal
One of the exercises for building confidence is to journal your daily accomplishments. Confidence is built when we do the things that we said we would do. When we achieve something we begin to gain trust in ourselves and in return strengthen our confidence.
Dedicate a journal to your daily accomplishments. Each day write down about 3 major things you’ve set out to accomplish that day and have done so. It doesn’t have to be big; it can be as little as waking up on time or reaching your daily water intake goal.
This journal will document your daily success, which comes in handy when you feel self-doubt; read through your accomplishments and be motivated.
3. Positive Affirmations Mirror Self-Talk
When you speak kindly to yourself this rewires your brain to view yourself differently. You become more confident, compassionate, and patient with yourself. You start believing in yourself. You silence the inner critic who tells you you can’t do something. Therefore, the way you speak to yourself matters.
Every morning when you wake up, speak three positive affirmations over yourself and your day. Look straight into your eyes and say your affirmations with conviction. For instance, “I am destined for greatness today” “I will accomplish everything I set out to do today”, and “I am smart and capable.” This confidence-building exercise might take some time to get used to as it can feel awkward at first but with time you’ll get used to it.
4. Pick a Confidence Role Model (and Study Her)
Role models are important as they are in a position that we want to be in. It’s like we’re seeing the vision of who we want to become in real time. Think of someone who exudes so much confidence that she channels her confidence to you. It can be someone famous or someone who you know or see daily.
After choosing a role model, study her personality, demeanor, and how she carries herself and interacts with other people. Reflect on what makes her confident in your eyes. Is it the way she dresses, and talks, or her charismatic nature?
Then, practice those traits that she has that you want to possess. Think of it as borrowing her walk, wittiness, or charisma until that characteristic has become your own. However, this isn’t to steal that person’s identity but to use them as an inspiration.
5. Take Up Space
One of the activities to improve confidence is to make sure you’re seen and heard in any setting you’re in. As women we are told not to speak up and if we do, we are called ‘difficult to deal with.’ However, we are not here to simply exist but to make our mark. So, why not take up space?
A trait that many confident women have is taking up space whether it’s through their voice or their energy. Every room they step into they let it be known that they are there and they matter just as everyone else in that room.
To take up space, speak up at meetings, challenge ideas, and walk into every room with purpose and intent. Overtime confidence-building exercise will make you feel powerful and trust in your abilities.
6. Follow Through with the Promises You’ve Made to Yourself
Every time you do what you said you were going to do, you start to build trust in yourself. This sends a signal to your brain saying “She keeps her words.” This might be one of the most powerful confidence-building activities you can do. When you master keeping the promises you’ve made to yourself, you will become unstoppable and capable of anything you set your mind to.
So, the next time you say you’re not going to use your phone in the morning or are going to drink more water, stand on business and follow through. Start by setting small, achievable promises to yourself and build on them.
7. Create a Confidence Vision Board
Vision is powerful because it shows us where we want to be. Research shows that creating a vision board helps us to visualize where we want to be which tricks our brain to think it’s our reality (Dixon and others, 2023). This increases the chances that we’ll accomplish our goals because we’re more motivated and will take action (Waalkes et al., 2019). Hence, this confidence-building exercise will help you to align with the person you want to become.
To make a confidence vision board, a great resource is using Pinterest for pictures. You can create a board on Pinterest dedicated to your vision or download, print, and cut out those pictures to create a tangible board. Choose images, quotes, symbols, or a mood that inspires you to be your confident self. Place your vision board in a visible or accessible place.
Make this confidence-building exercise a part of your everyday routine by viewing this board daily and asking yourself, ‘How can I show up as this version of myself today?’ The thing is this confident version of you already exists you just have to align with her.
8. Set a Tiny “Fearful” Goal to Accomplish Each Week
Another one of the confidence-boosting exercises is to accomplish goals that you’re fearful of doing. Studies have shown that when we set small goals and achieve them, dopamine is released in our brain which causes us to be motivated and more likely to succeed at other goals (Schultz, 2015).
Moreover, you can’t build confidence if you’re stuck in your comfort zone. Building confidence is feeling fear and doing the dang thing anyway. It’s allowing your fear to motivate you to push forward, not cripple you.
Start small, it can be something like taking yourself out on a solo lunch date because you’re fearful of being in restaurants alone or pitching an idea at your next work meeting when you have a lot of great ideas but is too fearful of being in the spotlight.
9. Audit Your Social Media Feed
You have the power of what shows up in your feed. Therefore, if something makes you feel unconfident in yourself after seeing it, tap the ‘don’t show again button.’ When you do this confidence-building exercise, you’ll create an environment on social media where your confidence will grow.
Also, follow and engage in content or with content creators that make you feel confident in yourself and spread authenticity.
10. Create a “Higher Version of Me” Vision Statement
Get clear on who you want to be and you do this by visualizing your future and higher self. There was a study that was conducted on adults, they were placed in a VR simulation, allowing them to choose to see their life if they continue smoking or if they stop and live a healthy life. This visualization in the future results in many of them quitting smoking(Okpako T, Kale. D, Perski.O, Brown. J, 2024).
However, you don’t have to be in a VR simulation to achieve this, just close your eyes and visualize the most confident version of yourself. How does she talk, walk, speak, and carry herself? What is her mindset? How does she handle challenges and criticism?
Write a vision statement of this higher version of yourself to make her visible and bring her to life. This confidence-building exercise can help you to align with this version of yourself.
To Wrap Things Up
Confidence doesn’t happen overnight, it takes practice and is built overtime. These confidence-building activities are a guide to help you improve your belief in yourself. Try two activities this week and record your results at the end of the week. You’ll notice a huge boost in your confidence.
References
- Waalkes, P. L., Gonzalez, L. M., & Brunson, C. N. (2019). Vision Boards and Adolescent Career Counseling: A Culturally Responsive Approach. Journal of Creativity in Mental Health, 14(2), 205–216. https://doi.org/10.1080/15401383.2019.1602092
- Schultz, W. (2015). Neuronal Reward and Decision Signals: form theories to data. Physiological Reviews, 95(3), 853-951.
- Okpako T, Kale D, Perski O, Brown J. Developing content for a virtual reality scenario that motivates quit attempts in adult smokers: A focus group study with art-based methods. PLOS Digit Health. 2024 May 23. https://journals.plos.org/digitalhealth/article id=10.1371/journal.pdig.0000512
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